OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
