fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
