Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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