I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
