Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
