Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
too bad you live with your parents still
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
