I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
