drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize