if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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