he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
