ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
