you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
