I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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