i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
