YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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