Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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