I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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