I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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