you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
