I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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