Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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