went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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