at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
