Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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