I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Houston, we have a blender
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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