I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
