he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
