ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
