she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize