did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
