Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
