we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
