I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
