I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
