she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
