The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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