You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
