Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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