so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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