after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
