There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
