I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
...so i touched it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
