I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
