You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
