Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
