Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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