You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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