There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
there is puke in my bra ... again
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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