Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
