Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
