i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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