She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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