The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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