Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
