Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize