you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
