I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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