reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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