Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The power of my boobs compel you
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
