She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
