Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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