Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
