can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
