what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
