Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize