i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
