Where is the hickey?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
