i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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